It was great to be back in my own church today. I missed seeing everyone and we had a great Fast and Testimony Meeting. Without warning though, I discovered that I am conducting our Relief Society Meetings this month so I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing that go mostly smoothly. Our church is the same wherever you visit in the world. The same doctrines are taught in every congregation. That is one of the things that I love about it. In some of the churches I used to attend, even the same denominations taught different doctrines from congregation to congregations. To me it is also heartbreaking when good Christians leave their churches when a minister they have fallen in love with leaves. That is sad to me. Anyway, I enjoyed being back in my own ward after visiting other places in Michigan over the past couple of weeks.
I awoke on time this morning, to go potty of course, and had to force myself to stay up so I could make it to church on time. All day, I have been dragging around with no energy. Naps have never been something I have enjoyed because I don’t wake up refreshed like some folks do, but I simply couldn’t help myself today. I hope it doesn’t interfere with my sleep tonight.
For the past few days, the soreness across my chest, and particularly under the right arm (where the cancer was) has been driving me crazy. I keep reaching inside my bra (not when anyone is looking of course) and adjusting the prosthesis and bra so that it doesn’t lay quite so close to the incision line. At times I question whether it will ever go away but I am trying to be patient.
I have been feeling impressed that I should try and establish a breast cancer support group in this area. If any of you are interested, please contact me at tootsnbob@gmail.com. The once a month meeting at Lou C’s is helpful, but I am beginning to think that once a month may not be enough with so many new cases of the dreaded disease developing here in our area. Of course, I realize that women are very busy already, but I just feel so strongly that the Lord is leading me to make myself available to other breast cancer survivors and especially those who are going through it right now.
The Lord has been so very good to me and He has lifted me up and kept me so positive and yet, I am beginning to suspect that I am more depressed (if that is the right word) than even I am aware of. There have been many times in the past few weeks when I just feel this overwhelming sense of dread. Yes, lots have been happening in my family and yet, there is seems to be something else afoot . . .
Mary Lou's Space 